| Preparing for Cooperative Family Mediation |
The most important thing is to come to the Cooperative Family Mediation session
with an open mind. Be willing to listen, not just hear what is being said. Parents
who are open and listen to the other parent, their attorney, and the mediator are
the ones who are able to reach an agreement and develop a mutually satisfactory
parenting plan. When one or both parents believe that there is only one solution to
custody and visitation issues, it is usually difficult to reach a compromise. If you
come prepared to be open, you can brainstorm options until you find a solution
that works for everyone, especially your children.
Come to your Cooperative Family Mediation prepared with several options
regarding time sharing schedules. Talk to your attorney before the mediation
regarding different options and the possible result if a judge is compelled to make
these decisions. Think about and write down your proposals and questions so
that you can refer to them during the mediation. You do not want to forget to
discuss something that is important to you.
Cooperative Family Mediation is not the place to focus on your history with the
other parent. Mediation usually breaks down when parents begin to rehash old
marital arguments. Instead, Cooperative Family Mediation is a place to focus on
the future and resolve your parenting issues. Be prepared to communicate about
your children and your perception of their specific needs. If you are concerned the
other parent might let your children stay up too late on school nights, talk about
their need for routine and structure. If you are concerned the other parent will not
take your son to practice regularly, talk about how important the sport is to your son
and the values he learns from the game. In considering these issues, it is also
very important to be open to what you might need to change for your children's
benefit.
Bring a sense of humor to the session. At times during Cooperative Family
Mediation, things get tense. This is natural as both parents are concerned about
their child. Try to maintain a perspective that balances your desires, the other
parent's desires, and your children's needs. While this is your goal, it is not always
easy. If things get tense, remember you are there for your children. You do not
have to like the other parent to make an agreement on their behalf. When things
get tense, listen to the mediator's advice and consider it. Recognize that your
mediator's job is to help you balance your children's needs and each of your
desires. She does this while encouraging you to reach a parenting solution.
Sometimes a humorous, but not rude, comment will ease the tension and help
everyone refocus on developing a solution that is best for your children.
Most importantly, remember to focus on your children. Make sure you understand
and stay focused on your children's needs. Honestly evaluate whether your
proposals are in your children’s best interest or just your best interest, as those
interests do not always coincide. Be open to different ideas and be willing to
compromise to reach a peaceful solution that is in the best interest of your
children.
with an open mind. Be willing to listen, not just hear what is being said. Parents
who are open and listen to the other parent, their attorney, and the mediator are
the ones who are able to reach an agreement and develop a mutually satisfactory
parenting plan. When one or both parents believe that there is only one solution to
custody and visitation issues, it is usually difficult to reach a compromise. If you
come prepared to be open, you can brainstorm options until you find a solution
that works for everyone, especially your children.
Come to your Cooperative Family Mediation prepared with several options
regarding time sharing schedules. Talk to your attorney before the mediation
regarding different options and the possible result if a judge is compelled to make
these decisions. Think about and write down your proposals and questions so
that you can refer to them during the mediation. You do not want to forget to
discuss something that is important to you.
Cooperative Family Mediation is not the place to focus on your history with the
other parent. Mediation usually breaks down when parents begin to rehash old
marital arguments. Instead, Cooperative Family Mediation is a place to focus on
the future and resolve your parenting issues. Be prepared to communicate about
your children and your perception of their specific needs. If you are concerned the
other parent might let your children stay up too late on school nights, talk about
their need for routine and structure. If you are concerned the other parent will not
take your son to practice regularly, talk about how important the sport is to your son
and the values he learns from the game. In considering these issues, it is also
very important to be open to what you might need to change for your children's
benefit.
Bring a sense of humor to the session. At times during Cooperative Family
Mediation, things get tense. This is natural as both parents are concerned about
their child. Try to maintain a perspective that balances your desires, the other
parent's desires, and your children's needs. While this is your goal, it is not always
easy. If things get tense, remember you are there for your children. You do not
have to like the other parent to make an agreement on their behalf. When things
get tense, listen to the mediator's advice and consider it. Recognize that your
mediator's job is to help you balance your children's needs and each of your
desires. She does this while encouraging you to reach a parenting solution.
Sometimes a humorous, but not rude, comment will ease the tension and help
everyone refocus on developing a solution that is best for your children.
Most importantly, remember to focus on your children. Make sure you understand
and stay focused on your children's needs. Honestly evaluate whether your
proposals are in your children’s best interest or just your best interest, as those
interests do not always coincide. Be open to different ideas and be willing to
compromise to reach a peaceful solution that is in the best interest of your
children.
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